I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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