So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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