I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
did you just send me my own nude
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
