fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
