Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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