smell my finger.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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