i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
