You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
