idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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