i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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