woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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