Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
