I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
