I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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