Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
