Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
