you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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