How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
