She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
