yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
