Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
