Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
