if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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