He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
