come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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