i'm signing you up for texting rehab
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
