We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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