My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
