She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
