bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
