just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
