So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
