I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
