It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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