I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
