Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
