I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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