It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
