it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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