seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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