Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
