He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
