After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
