Define "chronic" masturbator.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
