Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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