just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Alive.
So much puke
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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