absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
