I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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