Whod you bang
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
