Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
